7 Things To Do When Relationships Are in Trouble
When relationships are in trouble, it becomes difficult to have a normal, honest conversation. If you start one, the other person will refuse to engage, or become defensive or combative.
Speak
well of them afterwards
After you have talked to them and have tried
everything possible to save the relationship, make it a goal to have no
unfinished business with them. Whether you have resolved the issues or mended
the relationship, or had to part ways, you don't want any kind of grudge
between yourselves, so you should only say positive things about them.
So in case you should see each other on the
street, you don't want to have to avoid them and you also don't want them to
feel the need to avoid you. You want to be able to say hi, shake hands, give them
a hug, and wish them well.
Be
willing to walk the second mile
When I have a great relationship and it starts to
get strained or broken, I feel it's my responsibility to go to the person to
see what can be done to fix it. The stronger person is the first to ask for
forgiveness. We need to be willing to pick up the phone and say
That does not mean it always pays off, but it's hard to rescue a relationship if you don't take responsibility for initiating.
"I am sorry" "Hey, can we go for lunch? We need to talk."
That does not mean it always pays off, but it's hard to rescue a relationship if you don't take responsibility for initiating.
You can walk the second mile, but you can't determine the outcome of the attempted reconciliation. There will be times when no matter how much effort you put in, the relationship is never the same as it was before. And you can't be held hostage for that.
I personally think a lot of relationships are worth saving, but many can't be saved. I think we have to be realistic about the relationship, and do our best, but sometimes we have to accept that it can't be saved. You still value the person, but you let them go.
Consider
whether you might actually be the problem
It's often easy to point out all the things that
someone else is doing wrong, but when we do that, we sometimes neglect to
examine ourselves to see what we are
doing wrong. Someone once said,
"Open minds lead to open doors."
If I want to try to solve a problem with someone else, I need to first own up to my part in it and work to fix it. So before you start looking at what's wrong with your leader, first determine what's wrong with you.
Overlooking
a fault
Maybe a co-worker is rude to you and she jumps
down your throat about some meaningless matter. Instead of retaliating, you let
it go. The next day when she apologizes, you say,
"Don't even worry. I've already forgiven you. I didn't think twice about it. I knew that wasn't your normal self."
When you do such things, you make huge deposits
into your emotional bank account (relationship) with that person. Perhaps one
day when you're a bit stressed and on edge, and maybe don't treat her as well
as you normally would, you'll have plenty in your account to cover it.
Never
make them feel talked down on
When we correct people, we should never belittle
them or make them feel insignificant. At the office, don't have the attitude,
"How could you come up with that? Whose lousy idea was this?"Instead, do your best to find the good in every suggestion, even if you can't use it.
If you want to make a huge deposit in somebody's
life, when she makes a mistake and knows he is wrong, don't make a big deal
about it. If you must confront them about a matter, deal with them in private
if at all possible, and always do your best to protect their dignity.
"People who succeed without putting others down are so dope!"
We should not make people feel small for having
attempted something great and failing. It does not do anything positive to show
somebody up or humiliate someone in front of others.
Never
take it personally!
Unfortunately, not everybody will celebrate your
victories with you. Not all your single friends may jump up and down when you
marry the man of your dreams. Your co-worker will not sing praises when you get
that promotion. Sadly, for some people, your success evolves that jealous,
critical spirit rather than appreciation and compliments.
"If they don't know you personally, don't take it personal."
If you are going to become better. you will need to
know how to deal with critics; people who are talking about you, judging you,
or maybe even making false accusations.
"When they go low, we go high - Michelle Obama"
Don't sink down to their level and start talking badly about them. Most of all, don't get defensive or
try to prove that you're right and your critic is wrong. Shake it off and keep
moving forward. Keep your eyes on the prize; stay focused on your goals and do
what you believe God wants you to do.
Keep
yourself happy
God does not want you to sacrifice your happiness
to keep somebody else happy. At first brush, that might sound a little selfish,
but there's a tenuous balance here. Your first priority is to take care of
yourself. To do so, you must recognize that some people are still not going to
be happy no matter what you do for them, no matter how nice you are, no matter how
much time and energy you give them.
"God has not called you to be unhappy simply to keep somebody else happy."
You should not take responsibility for someone
else's poor choices. If you do, before long, that person will be controlling
you and manipulating you.
Let this be a turning point. If you have been
living to please everybody else, or constantly trying to fix everything, rid
yourself of that false responsibility. Yes, reach out to others. Yes, be kind
and be compassionate. But make sure you're keeping yourself happy.
We are God' Perfect Creation
Beautiful of all Worlds
DamieQuotes
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