A Letter to my Younger self - 23 Things I have learned in 23 Years.

Many of you may not know, but I used to have a diary as a young teenager, I started having one when I was 13 years and now that I am 23 years, I feel I need to go down memory lane and recall some experiences that I have gained wisdom from over the last decade transitioning into my adult life. These are 23 things I have learned, I will always remember and I think it's worth sharing so here goes.......

1) Your value does not reduce by somebody's inability to see your worth. When I was younger, some people thought I was not good enough, I was not sharp enough, I was too dark, I was too quiet, they would think all sorts. All those things would drown me as a young girl, sometimes even my teachers let me down, would not believe in me. With time I always persisted to see the best in myself, and today those same people now call me beautiful, intelligent and smart. Always increase in your value and believe with patience, your value would be so great, you will be so good that they can't ignore you!

2) You should not compare yourself with anyone else because your beauty is unmatched. I had to write this one down in my diary as a struggling teenager. I first had to admit to myself that I sometimes felt inadequate, wishing to have what others had, and wanting to look or be like a certain someone, but I was so wrong! When now I look back at those other people I wanted to look like, I tell myself why did I want to be like them anyway??? I now see beauty in others without questioning mine. No one is you, and that is your power, every second you spend wishing to be someone else is only renting out precious space in your head.

Credit -Instagram: @EmpoweringWomenNow

3) Don't let the mind control you, Control your mind. We always had an idea of what was expected of us when we were young, we were expected to go to school, get good grades, get a job, get married and live happily ever after right, Everything is supposed to run automatically right? This puts your mind in a box and only brings out nothing but anxiety.

4) That boy that you like now, when you grow up much older, you would not like him anymore. Childhood love and crushes are nothing but infatuation, fantasy and lust. Without any solid foundation in friendship, communication and in genuinely putting effort to know each other, nothing is going to happen or better still the feeling won't last!

5) Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is extremely powerful. Take risks and do things outside your normal comfort zones. Learn to do the things you don't usually like doing! You will never know till you try. Right? Be crazy, lose sleep for a while, do the things you love day and night and just let that gift/passion inside of you burn through you.

6) Words matter, the most powerful words you can ever use is "I am". Don't let others define you. You define you with the words "I am".  Also with relationships exchange "me" with "we".

7) Nobody can convince me that prayer does not work! Prayer breaks all barriers in life generally, whatever is loosed here on earth will also be loosed in heaven. God is merciful and if we always humble ourselves before him, focus on what we can control, God would handle the rest when we seek help. Another thing is that prayer calms and humbles you to be at your highest possible self.

8) Fail fast! the most successful people did not make it to the top by having a success at first trail. They  failed many times and severally before they could finally figure it out. The success lies in not giving up, so I would tell my younger self, try many times and you will succeed eventually.

Credit -Instagram: @EmpoweringWomenNow

9) Embrace each moment! Life is not a race. Dear younger self , I know you are trying to figure everything right and you put so much pressure on yourself. You don't have to push yourself so hard. You are truly enough just as you are, so embrace and enjoy your youth, live fully in the moment  while believing the best for the future.

10) You have the permission to grow....and be unapologetic about it! You have the right to want more for yourself, to do more for yourself and to be your best self. You have the permission to go after what you want, meet new friends, have new experiences, disappear for a while, read new books, be places you have never been before and live the life you truly want. After all, if you don't bring what you desire in life to reality, how can you grow?

11) You are super brave and courageous. You survived what you thought might kill you but wait......there's more. There are so much mountains out there for you to climb to be where you want to be, so many obstacles and so many fears you have to give up. You are not as insecure and afraid as you think. What would you do if you were not afraid? So many wonderful things younger self.

12) Losing people is painful, but it is necessary for growth. How would you feel if I told that the best friend you once had at age 6 would not always be there? Or that your most precious boyfriend would one day leave you? Or you may be moving somewhere where there is more opportunity for you professionally, and miss your family and friends for almost half a decade? And most times you might have to remove people(friends from your life) that are no longer good for you, even if you have known them for long.

13) That couple that you are admiring, that you think are so perfect for each other, they have their own too! When I say "their own" I mean their own fair share of misunderstandings. You know what you watch in movies of happily ever after, it's only for a while. Quarrels are bound to happen between the most admired couples on the planet, everyone has their bad days, and everyone makes up, sometimes we are misunderstood to be understood.

14) Depression is real! Dear younger self, I know you always want to free and happy forever, but adulting (growing up) is hard! Accepting that you cannot party in the way you used to because you have more responsibilities and commitments. Understanding that sometimes, when people tell you that they are too busy to see you, they really mean it. Understanding that your family and friends can be far away can make you feel sad and lonely. But hey! always remember that there is always someone you can talk too whenever life gets too hard that is God!

Credit -Instagram: @EmpoweringWomenNow

15) Still on depression, never bottle things inside always let people especially 'You' know how you feel. Express your concerns to your close friend, talk to God, speak to a someone who knows you better, your mentor, mother, father, role model or anyone. And if you are not okay speaking to them, my darling, feel free to write about your feelings. You will feel a lot lighter after that.

16) Be kind to others, as I had said earlier depression is real, be kind to other people, because you never know what storm they may be going through. Granted, some people are going to take advantage of you for being good, but don't you for one minute, let the world make you unkind. The world needs more kind people like you and being kind makes you the most beautiful person on the planet no matter what you look like.

17) Read! Read and Read about it! It's important to take care of your mental health and disposition. I thought reading ended in school but girl was I wrong! Do not let your schooling affect your education. Read and learn about things as much as you can, it's not an easy task but you will be surprised at how much you will know at the end of a really good book. They say experience is the best teacher, but the things we cannot experience, we can always read about!

18) There is not enough time for everything but there is always time for the important things! Time goes by fast you know! Before you know it, you will be 20, then you will be 25 , then you will be 30. It may seem like there is not enough time to do everything, but there is always time for the things you list as priority to you. Do not take the principle that life is too short to do most things. If you really want something and you put your time and energy towards it, it will happen! Do the important things first!

19)Transforming from who you are to who you want to be is the hardest stage ever! Dear younger self, you will be in that point in your life, where you need to take time off to work on yourself, there will be times you don't feel like partying. there would be times when your sleep will be too important to you than staying up late with your friends, there would be times you want to draw closer to God. There would be a time that your biggest priority will be you. It won't be easy, it would be very hard. challenging, but it would be totally worth it!

20) Nothing is too big to sacrifice for family! Family is really all that matters sometimes. Family is not just blood, it's those who want you in theirs, accept you for who you are, and would do anything to make you smile no matter what. Think of those that have sacrificed so many things to see you to be where you are, comfortable and truly want your best interest at heart. You will meet some friends that would become family, and always remember your job will not take care of you when you are sick, but your family will.

21) Love the process, Life is a journey! What will be the point if you just get to your destination on time? And not go through the journey intended? Chances are that you will miss out vital lessons younger self. I know you want things to happen in an instant! Life is a journey full of lessons, and sometimes God would not allow us get to the place he has prepared for us till we go through certain processes to make us grow so we earn and sustain the place he has prepared for us. Same thing with success, it's not automatic, it's a journey!

22) The fact that someone else loves you, does not stop you from the project of loving yourself! You cannot pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first. How you think of yourself matters, how you talk to yourself matters and most importantly how you treat yourself matters. Do it with love! For your good and the good of others.

23) Don't fall in love but rise in love. You will have your own fair share of heartbreaks, heartaches and disappointment with people that you cherish the most. It's a normal part of growing up and only prepares you more for the life to come. However younger self, you must not only fall in love or stay down heartbroken as the case may be, but you must rise in love always. Do everything with love and never allow love make you bitter. Love is patient, Love is kind, Love is long suffering and out of Hope, Faith and Love, Love is the greatest!

"The broken will always be able to love harder than most. Once you've been in the dark, you learn to appreciate everything that shines"

Yours Sincerely,

Damie.

We are God' Perfect Creation

Beautiful of all Worlds

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